Saturday, September 10, 2016

Funny Campaign Letter

I saw this letter this morning in the Laconia Daily Sun. It is one of the more unusual campaign letters I think I've seen. Brent Anderson is running as a Republican in the three way primary for two NH House seats in our Carroll County District 04. 
It gives me an opportunity to thank all the candidates on the ballot this coming Tuesday up and down the ticket for putting themselves out there and for their public service. Good luck to all. The weather should be great, so no excuse to not get out and vote. 
Dear humans:
My master is a good man. But he's done something I do not agree with at all. He is running for some political office from Moultonborough, Sandwich (I love that town!) and another town that sounds like a small bird. I can't remember the name.
If he were to win — which I am hoping he won't since he is doing about as well as I did at dog obedience school — then I will hardly ever get a chance to have walks! That's terrible! I have worries, which a dog shouldn't have to put up with. Um, is that bad English?
My master, Brent Anderson, walks me almost every day. Today we went to the Loon Center. Yesterday, we walked around the neighborhood where he picked up my poop in a little baggie. And the day before was awesome. A hike in Sandwich at the Mead Base! I met wonderful people and furiously barked at another dog, who scared me since he was even bigger than my 106 pounds.

So if you vote for Brent Anderson, then my life will be ruined. He'll go to Concord, wearing his fancy clothes from his boarding school teacher days, coming home with no time for me. The five cats and the Shih Tzu who also live here aren't enough. My master's four children are often too busy reading, playing video games, having sleep-overs, or doing extracurricular activities. (I had "Daisy," one of the cats, help me with that spelling.)
There's more to life than stealing butter from the counter, "accidentally" stepping on my master's wife's feet, and sleeping. A dog does not live on butter alone. I need my walks, doggoneit!
Oops ... sorry for the strong language. But please remember, I need him. There are plenty of other humans to vote for as far as I can tell, even if they may not be as conservative as he is. I have a good life, and I'd like to keep it that way.
P.S. He doesn't know I've written this. Let's keep this just between you and me, okay?
"Sawyer" Anderson
3-year-old black Lab/golden retriever mix.
Moultonborough

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

He has my vote. We need some refreshing change in Concord. Tired of the gloom and doom tea party that hates America.

Tom Howard said...

Better upgrade to contractor bags for your constitutional in Concord!